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Trigger Warning: Discussion about abuse in the paragraphs below.
Inspiration: Self Portrait, loss of innocence
Completed: September 2011***
Media
Fineliners, Alcohol Markers, Gel Pen
This is a much older piece I just love. It comes from a period of time where I was escaping an abusive relationship, and I drew this inspired by my loss of innocence, and a strong desire to reach back into my childhood. I was a 20something who hadn’t really been single since I was in junior high (not the same relationship), and I didn’t know who I was as an adult – not only because I had not been single for so long, but because I had been in that abusive relationship. I had spent a lot of time focusing on other people and their wants and needs.
As those relationships go, I had pushed away a lot of my friends, he had made me feel distrust for my family and those closest to me, and sometimes it felt like the only person I could trust was my childhood rabbit.
I chose cross hatching style to convey the messy frustration I felt. When you are at the beginning of your new life it’s not just a clean slate. It’s a mind numbing roller coaster of realizations as you come to terms with what happened and what you’ve lost. Discovering you really only put effort into any specific thing because my partner wanted it. Finding out what I loved because I had spent years wearing black in my depression, doing what he wanted, and some things I loved now caused triggers I needed to work through. But I was learning that even though I was in my 20’s I still felt like I was 16, a little broken, and feeling like adulthood was slapping me for being unprepared.
Sometimes, when it was one of the harder days, all I really looked forward to was a hug from my rabbit.
*** Posted to my website on February 17, 2025.
Cheeky Adorable Art 
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